Saturday, November 28, 2009

Menism?



Men need a menism. Through the march of civilization, men have been denied the freedom to live life the way they would like. Women, it’s true, face a much more fundamental and existential sort of challenge from being encumbered within their gender, especially where coercion and law dictate their restriction. But the social oppression of men is far more widespread, absolute and psychologically binding.


Girls are brought up in a certain way that sometimes determines the choices they make. They are complimented on grace and beauty and loveliness when their brains are no more substantial than those of jellyfish. They’re bought Barbies or they opt for Barbies because of the way womanly ideals are described by their society and popular culture. Quite the same way, little boys are complimented on how strong and brave and tall and energetic and naughty they are – the GI Joe attributes. Their ideals and role models  shape their limits in the same way a girl’s limits are drawn.


But at least there’s a global women’s movement and a well developed consciousness about social and psychological freedom that is a part of public discourse. There isn’t one for men.


Why? Because being girly is an insult, mon amie. Being manly is a compliment. The stereotypes and mental blocks men grow up with are idealized ones. They are compliments as much for them as for the women who get them. The ones women grow up with are construed by men as insults. A girl who’s a tom boy is adorable. A girly boy is a sociological mess. A woman doing a man’s job is to be applauded. A man behaving like a woman needs to be slapped.


And that doesn’t just reflect poorly on the freedom of women to be what they want to be. It reflects poorly on the freedom of men. Society wouldn’t accept them wearing lace and frill. Or dresses. Society does not permit them to paint their nails or lips or arc their eyebrows. Boys can’t play tea party with their teddy bears and dolls. They can’t be too adventurous with the colours they wear. They have hardly any hair styling options. They can’t watch soap operas and Anne Hathaway romantic comedies. They can’t squeal and hug in public. Doors aren’t opened for them. Chairs aren’t pulled out. Jackets not thrown upon puddles for them to cross. They can’t grow their nails and then complain about breaking one. They can’t read Nancy Drew and heaven forbid if they were listening to Taylor Swift.


If you are a man/boy reading this... you don’t really want all this right? You don’t want the right to wear a skirt with a bow and high heels. Of course not.


But what if, when you were a little boy, you were constantly dressed up in pink frilly dresses and told you looked angelic? And if your other little boy friends did the same? You might have wanted different things today. And that’s where you’re not free. So don’t take your free choices for granted. Because socialization isn’t merely about what you consciously sell someone. It’s about what’s being unconsciously given.


There are many things I write that are tongue-in-cheek. I swear upon all that is holy that this is not one of those things. 

1 comment:

  1. *applause* we've discussed this amongst friends before and i completely agree with the "And that’s where you’re not free. So don’t take your free choices for granted. Because socialization isn’t merely about what you consciously sell someone. It’s about what’s being unconsciously given."

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